Monday
Mike came round to collect me. When he walked into the kitchen, he was all smiles. We were off to see the wizard to make sure it was OK for me to take this balm, Ambien. Actually he said, “toto(ly) safe” not OK, looking at me in a slightly odd way. I looked up “balm” in a dictionary when I got back. Whatever this Ambien is, it’s like an ointment for me to rub in. Then he was all organized, making sure the house was locked up and I had a key to get back in with. He was just like Dave which was kind of reassuring.
But when we got into his sedan, he went all quiet, like he was embarrassed or something. Mike said it had both axels in the grave, just another fleet car and not “hot” at all. It was like he was all upset about having it, telling me it was a Taurus. So to make conversation, I asked him if that meant the car was born in April-May which might be why he had negative vibes from it. And then he was laughing again. He’s got one of these infectious laughs. I seem to trigger them off somehow. But he always laughs in a nice way, never at me. Just as if the world has just told him a big joke. Then he was quiet again and said something odd. Said it might be kind of a shame to give me Ambien. I was like an undiscovered national treasure and it all might go away. I might go back to being ordinary.
I was thinking about the movie with Nick Cave in it when he pulls into the County Hospital. I got a little sad. All these years never seeing a physician and look where that had gotten me — in a real mess. Next thing I know, Mike’s opening the door for me. He holds my hand and tells me not to cry. It’s all going to be OK when I get some Ambien.
The rest of the day was a kind of blur. It all started in a normal kind of way with taking my temperature, blood pressure and heart monitors. The nurses were gentle when they took an armful of my blood. Apologizing that they had to keep coming back for more. I wondered whether they’d just had a mutliple accident on the freeway and needed donations for the injured. I could hear them whispering about me as the Ambien girl. But it got weird when they put me in this space-age tube and started talking to me, asking me questions. I got the references to Magneto in X-Men and that I had to be bold, but until I was in a regular room with Mike and another man, I didn’t feel right at all.
Mike made the introductions but I was still feeling confused because I couldn’t remember everything that had been happening to me. This man asked questions about whether I had asthma or problems breathing. Was my liver alright? How was my eyesight? He seemed very interested in whether I drank a lot or did drugs of any kind. How much sleep did I get? And then we just talked about me, and Dave and the boys.
I was getting a little spaced out again, so they talked about me like I wasn’t there. They kept mentioning Ambien and there seemed to be some argument about whether I had given consent for the day. Mike said he would get a back-up consent for the Ambien from Dave. The man was very insistent that Dave would have to take responsibility for giving me the Ambien. Dave always used to enjoy giving me a massage. With this ointment, we’ll be back to the old days.
When Mike was walking me back to the sedan, the fresh air made me feel better and I felt good when he congratulated me on getting through it all. It would take a few days for all the blood work to be done but he seemed to think I would be starting off on Ambien by the end of the week. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Tags: Ambien